Tumours and Tumeric

My husband has a brain tumour.  I am not very impressed. I have been on Google since 28th September.  I read the Daily Mail health section every day on my way to work. I have started taking turmeric supplements.

My life in a box

The process is about to start again.  Packing up a house.  It was only 9 months ago that I was unpacking it. There were 90 boxes in all. Most of them are flatpacked in the attic.

Faulty Towers day in The Falklands

I have had one of those days that I am quite glad will end in an hour. It started with a phonecall from my mum this morning while I was trying to get the children ready for school.  It was lovely to talk to her but not the best time. The half hour between 8am and 8.30am is very fraught.  Any little thing can make me freak out and roar my head off.  Not getting uniform on is a major annoyance, not being able to find school shoes, or gym kit, or swimming goggles, or a hair band or homework bag.  Do not even get me started on packed lunches. On really bad days my son likes putting his pants on his head and dancing around the living room.  My daughter likes to get all her art stuff out and draw pictures or make things while sitting chilling in her dressing gown?



The end came when they tried to write me notes and ask me questions while I was on the phone.  We all have our limits.

We have two phones in our house, a military line and an outside line.  An actual line to the outside world courtesy of Cable and Wireless at £1 per minute.  One where we can talk to people who do not live in The Falklands.  It is amazing.  Every time I talk on the outside line I feel like an old person using a telephone for the first time looking into the receiver and wondering how it all works. I have actually forgotten how to use a mobile phone and please can someone tell me what an Ipad is. I have an Ipod but I am sick of the same songs because I cannot work out how to put new ones on and take old ones off.

I spent 3 minutes listening to some not so soothing music this morning trying to get hold of a company in the UK.  They were very sorry that all lines were busy and I was on hold.  They were not as sorry as I was believe me.

I then rushed to work and two hours later realised that I had the car keys that my husband needed to go on his Elephant Seal hunting trip 4 hours cross country.  He did get hold of another set of keys and took 239 photos that are now clogging up my computer.  I have 40 photos of a Heron.

My evening has got slightly better.  The delicious joint of Falklands beef that I put in the fridge yesterday to defrost was not quite defrosted but I cooked it anyway.  I just prodded the frozen bit in the middle and cooked it for hours and after two glasses of red wine I am still alive and well.  Tonight we drank two bottles of expensive wine (by this I mean over my usual Chilean £2) and they tasted very good. I am almost in a good mood.  Almost. I have taken to sulking.  A new tactic that is quite an effort. I have to remember to not smile and look aloof and gloomy.  I do not think it will last. I can't actually remember why I started doing it. I think I might just return to my old self.  I like that one better.

I will try to roar less and rationalise more but with the big move back to the UK in 7 weeks I have a lot of stresses.  There are forms looming everywhere and I need to find a black biro.  I think we only have pink felt tips that are all dried up.  I am going to have to drive on a road with traffic.  I am going to have to pay full price for petrol and I am going to have to queue for things because there are a lot of people in the UK.  There will be litter.

I am not sure that I am ready to be integrated back into UK society.  Life on the outside out of the bubble. Shall I sulk or smile...We will have to wait and see.

Sa

Falklands Fishing

Today started early with session two with bionic woman and the weights in the gym.  She had a hangover so counted the lifts for me and wrote some things down on a piece of paper.  It was torture but not quite as bad as last week.  I was surprised at how busy the gym was on a Sunday morning at 9am.  There are other fitness freaks out there with no social life on a Saturday night.

When I returned home my husband was looking for blue card to make some bumble bee photo frames with the children so he had turned my craft cupboard upside down.  This can only end in one way and that is complete and utter disaster and a shouting match.  No-one ventures into my craft cupboard.  So he was huffing and puffing, raking and rustling and I ended up wanting to stab him with a knitting needle.  Problem is I am not quite sure exactly where they are in the cupboard.

Action man has been home for exactly a week and it has been a totally blissful week.  There has not been a cross word.  We have been calling each other Darling.  I wonder what we will be calling each other this coming week.  I will keep you posted.

On a normal UK Sunday afternoon if I wanted some trout I would nip to Sainsbury's or Morrisons or Tescos.  In the Falklands you have to be a bit more resourceful.

So off we went this afternoon for a half hour drive on a gravel track.  I was in the back of the land rover and it was quite bumpy and if I had been taller I would have bumped my head several times.

Then we had to walk a mile there and back in the battering, howling wind to find a sheltered spot to start fishing.  We were spinning today which actually took a bit of effort.  I thought fishing involved sitting at the side reading a book, eating sandwiches, drinking tea and waiting for a fish to come while Kingfishers flew by and the sun shone in a gentle breeze. It actually involves freezing, nearly being blown over into the water and looking at barren landscape with not a soul in sight for about 3 hours.

My daughter fell out with me because "I was not listening to her" and was "not doing it properly".  My son punched me when I tried to hold his hand.  I am somewhat redundant now that Granny and Auntie have arrived. They are nice to me only on the run up to mealtimes.

We have just had a starter of freshly caught Falklands brown trout that my husband rustled up.  He managed to find a lime in the bottom on the fridge which is a miracle. Limes are like gold dust. I haven't been able to buy one since November.  My husband is maturing to my satisfaction.  Craft activities with the children, doing the dishes without being nagged and home cooking, all in one day.  Maybe tomorrow I will get a Valentine's card although I hope not.  I have forgotten to get him one. 

I have just downed two glasses of sherry in the space of 10 minutes.  This is to get over the shock of the gutting process that was going on in the kitchen. There is now a fish head in the bin.

I have that lovely Falklands glow this evening.  There is a lot to be said for this simple, self sufficient life and as long as I get a lock for the craft cupboard all will be calm in our household.

Well hello sailors

Yesterday I went on a school trip to HMS Gloucester.  It was fascinating. I feel very lucky to have seen inside and to meet the very dashing members of the Royal Navy. How I love a man in uniform.  My husband had told me not to wear a skirt.  That was good advice.  The steps are vertical like ladders and there are lots of them.  Holding onto the rails on either side is essential.

In the afternoon the school went to visit the Meteorological Centre.  One of the children asked me how to spell this.  I had to look it up in the dictionary.  Then they asked how many syllables were in it? I had a headache last night with all the thinking. Forecasting weather is all about Physics and Maths.  I have just had to look up Physics in the dictionary.

Weather in the Falklands is a challenge for the Met Office.  It changes day by day and even hour by hour.  Freak gust winds come out of nowhere and cloud formations can look quite spectacular.  I experienced quite a bumpy ride on the flight over here from the UK and a very choppy ride the last time I went in a helicopter. I had the sick bag open and ready.

 Yesterday low cloud covered the hills looking like snow and there was a clear bright blue sky.  The sun today is fierce, you can feel it burning your skin.

My husband scrubbed the bath last night and is in cleaning mode. He knows how to clean.  He has been well trained.  He polishes my shoes and has taught me all the tricks when moving out of army quarters.  Toothpaste filled into the holes in the walls once you take the picture hooks out works wonders.  His mother arrives soon.  I better get dusting.

My son befriended a cat before school this morning.  I can't wait until the dog meets it. He has also found a dead cat behind our house. He keeps poking it with a stick.

The joys of the the gym

Today I spent 2 hours in the gym.  I am like Madonna, becoming obessed with exercise.  I hope my veins do not start sticking out.   I have a friend who is like the bionic woman.  She does not have an ounce of fat on her. She wears a bikini in the swimming pool. Men take a second and third look when she walks past.  There are a lot of red blooded males strolling around. Their eyes sort of pop out and then back in again to their eye sockets except they don't go back in properly.  I have not owned a bikini since 1990 and even then it was not a good look.

Bionic woman does weights and gave me a little lesson today. All those machines that I actually thought looked like torture instruments could apparently make me look quite defined and toned.  There is one for inner thighs that I tried as well as two for the back and one for the legs and bum.  I wonder if I am going to be able to walk tomorrow. I also tried to do some sit ups on one of those large rubber balls you use in labour.  (Not that I did, I was straight onto the hard drugs).

 I then had a lesson in abdominal exercises.  They are just so unpleasant.  I have quite a lot of fat to burn in that area but since moving to The Falklands I have lost a stone. I was quite fat when I first got here. I blame it all on Walkers Sensations. You can get them here but they are about £3 per packet and always out of date. The only thing that kept me going today during my ab crunches was the view of all the muscle men doing their weights. Everyone here is so fit.  It is like boot camp.

I am now on a mission to clean my house.  My mother-in-law flies in on the next plane. The bathrooms are in need of some bleach.  My oven could do with some Mr Muscle. I have just thrown a mouldy cabbage into the bin.  The ironing pile needs to be flattened out and the silver could do with a polish.  Action man has been back for 2 days and the piles have started already.  Piles of dishes at the kitchen sink and piles of dirty washing on the bedroom floor. He has been rearranging the cupboards.

My son has been doing some housekeeping of his own recently.  Last week he put some salt in the sugar bowl.  I did not really enjoy my salty cup of coffee and my daughter was not impressed with her salted bran flakes.  I have just seen soggy toilet paper on the toilet brush.  I have also noticed that my eyeliner has been used as cam cream, that some red nail varnish has been left open and dried up and that my favourite lipstick has been used as a crayon.  A seven year old boy can do quite a lot of little tricks if not supervised 24/7.

My latest felting project is this lovely little owl. I am not sure why it has a squint beak.  I might get my needle out and have another little stab.

 I will have to do this though after my cleaning spree and after my action man returns from his run. He is in training. He is out in the wind that I could hardly walk in earlier so I hope he returns in one piece.  He will have a lovely red rosy glow on his face and maybe some wind burn.