The joys of the the gym

Today I spent 2 hours in the gym.  I am like Madonna, becoming obessed with exercise.  I hope my veins do not start sticking out.   I have a friend who is like the bionic woman.  She does not have an ounce of fat on her. She wears a bikini in the swimming pool. Men take a second and third look when she walks past.  There are a lot of red blooded males strolling around. Their eyes sort of pop out and then back in again to their eye sockets except they don't go back in properly.  I have not owned a bikini since 1990 and even then it was not a good look.

Bionic woman does weights and gave me a little lesson today. All those machines that I actually thought looked like torture instruments could apparently make me look quite defined and toned.  There is one for inner thighs that I tried as well as two for the back and one for the legs and bum.  I wonder if I am going to be able to walk tomorrow. I also tried to do some sit ups on one of those large rubber balls you use in labour.  (Not that I did, I was straight onto the hard drugs).

 I then had a lesson in abdominal exercises.  They are just so unpleasant.  I have quite a lot of fat to burn in that area but since moving to The Falklands I have lost a stone. I was quite fat when I first got here. I blame it all on Walkers Sensations. You can get them here but they are about £3 per packet and always out of date. The only thing that kept me going today during my ab crunches was the view of all the muscle men doing their weights. Everyone here is so fit.  It is like boot camp.

I am now on a mission to clean my house.  My mother-in-law flies in on the next plane. The bathrooms are in need of some bleach.  My oven could do with some Mr Muscle. I have just thrown a mouldy cabbage into the bin.  The ironing pile needs to be flattened out and the silver could do with a polish.  Action man has been back for 2 days and the piles have started already.  Piles of dishes at the kitchen sink and piles of dirty washing on the bedroom floor. He has been rearranging the cupboards.

My son has been doing some housekeeping of his own recently.  Last week he put some salt in the sugar bowl.  I did not really enjoy my salty cup of coffee and my daughter was not impressed with her salted bran flakes.  I have just seen soggy toilet paper on the toilet brush.  I have also noticed that my eyeliner has been used as cam cream, that some red nail varnish has been left open and dried up and that my favourite lipstick has been used as a crayon.  A seven year old boy can do quite a lot of little tricks if not supervised 24/7.

My latest felting project is this lovely little owl. I am not sure why it has a squint beak.  I might get my needle out and have another little stab.

 I will have to do this though after my cleaning spree and after my action man returns from his run. He is in training. He is out in the wind that I could hardly walk in earlier so I hope he returns in one piece.  He will have a lovely red rosy glow on his face and maybe some wind burn.