Remote control missing

My children keep hiding the remote control from each other.  They take it to the loo with them.  If it ends up in the loo I will not be happy.

My husband is off flying around The Falklands today.  I would have been flying around also if I had got up in time.  I had a vivid dream about being drawn into the afterlife by a ghost.  It must have been the wine I drank at last night's fun drinks party.

Not long until we move back to UK - well 4 months. Sunny Blackpool here I come.

Christmas in the sunshine

We had a lovely day on Christmas day.  It did not get dark until about 10pm and the sun shone all day.  We had to open all the windows in the house.  My Falklands roast lamb and courgettes from the polytunnel were delicious.  I had three glasses of sherry and had a rosy glow all day. I then went on to have cava, red wine - far too much of it.

Yesterday my husband was another year older and my daughter was sick.  We watched Indiana Jones and I made a felted robin.

Volunteer Point

Today I went to Volunteer Point via Stanley by helicopter which took about 40 minutes.  I was nearly sick.  The wind was making the helicopter sway and bump and I nearly had to reach for the sick bag.  It was quite unpleasant. I had a hot flush and everything. I nearly had a panic attack flying over the sea. The waves were massive. There was a cruise ship in Stanley and my son was fascinated to see that it had a swimming pool.

When we got to Volunteer Point it was very windy and I managed to lose my hat in the middle of a King Penguin colony.  Luckily it blew over to the other side and I was able to rescue it.  My ears hurt in the wind here if I do not have a hat on and tonight as I write this I have the usual red face caused by wind burn. I look ridiculous. I also have some grey hair which is a new development.

I have had my first sherry of the festive season and it went down so very well.  I have forgotten how good sherry is, it is not easy to get hold of here but I am hoping I will have some in my stocking tomorrow. I can drink a whole bottle quite easily. It is the best way to get through Christmas day.

The children have written their Christmas letters and my husband set them alight outside.  Unfortunately he had had one too many sherrys and nearly set the house alight.  Half of our presents have not arrived due to a mixture of UK snow and RAF planes only flying here once a week. All I care about is sherry.

We are having lamb tomorrow for Christmas lunch.  I have no idea how to cook it, in fact I have no idea what cut of lamb we have.  I think I can see a kidney on top of what looks like a leg. I have garlic and rosemary and the cooker works so I am hoping things will turn out well.

I heard a bird singing this morning at about 5am.  It was very unnatural.  I am hoping my children can stay asleep until at least 7am but it is light from 5am onwards.  The sun will just not stop shining.

December in The Falklands is very surreal.  I will be able to look back and say that on Christmas Eve 2010 I saw hundreds of King penguins and walked along a white sandy beach watching a Seal trying to eat Magellanic penguins in the sea.  Life here at times is so good you can hardly believe it is true. 

A day away from MPA

I have been to a different land today.  An hour's ride in a helicopter and we landed in New Island.  It was an early start, all 4 of us out of the house by 8am.  That was a miracle in itself, only one strop and the worry about the dog being left all day in the house.  Had I shut the conservatory door?  I am sure the dog would die in there because it gets so unbearably hot.  The dog you will be glad to know is alive and well.
We planted some blue grass on New Island today and then went to see some Penguins and Albatross.  I could honestly not believe my eyes.  I was so close to the birds I could have touched them. The Rockhopper Penguins were inquisitive and funnily enough hopped around quite a bit. The Albatross sat on their nests.  You could see the babies underneath.  I watched one yawn.  It had a massive mouth.

The birds were so noisy and shrieked every time a Turkey Vulture or Skua tried to get their eggs.  I think there must have been about 1000 birds at least. They flew right over my head above 3 feet above me. The king Cormorants looked like flying Penguins from a distance. Their big feet dangling in mid air.

The sun shone all day and as I write this my faces hurts, my skin is tight, although I put sun-cream on I am burnt.

The children made friends with the only two children that live on the island.  My son says he would like to live there.  They played on a white sandy beach making sandcastles. I met a felting lady who gave me some red felting wool.  It was as if she had given me diamonds. Such contentment.

To put the icing on the cake my friend is back from Chile and I have just had a nice glass of red wine with her.  My face is very rosy.   I think I am back in love with the Falklands again.   The West is very Scottish.                                                                                                                     

Pepper and advent calendars

Well it is now Friday and it has been a mixed week.  In Stanley today my son decided to find out what reaction he would get if he put pepper in his sister's Dr Pepper drink in the middle of a busy cafe at lunchtime. It was not the most postive of actions that followed.

Earlier in the week my son and his partner in crime decided to open their little's friends advent calendar on his behalf while he is on holiday in Chile. What ever happened to the old fashioned mantra of - children should be seen and not heard.

I am off to New Island tomorrow, my husband has packed my rucksack and all I have to do is get up tomorrow morning and be ready to go at 8.15am.  I am looking forward to seeing some Albatross.

In the supermarket in Stanley today I bought fresh marscapone and ricotta cheese, I even saw fresh cream.  There is apparently an extra flight coming over every week related to oil drilling.  I hope there is oil here, I may be able to buy bananas and pineapples soon.

At the end of the day all is well, both of my children now have their own advent calendars even though it is over half way through December and my son realises that pepper in fizzy drinks is not going to put Mummy in a good mood.

Windy woes

Well I managed to get one hour's sleep last night.  The other 7 hours were spent listening to the 70mph winds outside.  Our fence has blown down but I am happy to say that the friend's chickens that I am looking after are still alive and well. They must have had a cosy night couped up in their henhouse.

I do not know if I will make it outside today.  The sun is shining but I can hear the wind roaring. 

Day 3 of the school holidays.  I can hear my son throwing his train set around in a temper.  I will be climbing the walls by lunchtime.

I have started felting pictures.  I taught my daughter how to knit yesterday.  I am suffering from lack of shops.  I cannot wait to get back to the UK in the Spring. Food shopping, clothes shopping, any type of shopping.

Christmas stress already

My husband and I have managed to have an argument about internet shopping.  How is this possible?  We are nowhere near real shops, a shopping centre is somewhere we never go together. The queues, the heat, the lights, the bags.  I am breathing heavily just thinking about it.  Ikea is the worst location on earth as far as my husband is concerned.  He flinches when he sees the sign.

The huffing and puffing this afternoon about children's wellies sizes and why wouldn't the website accept BFPO addresses.  The laptop nearly went out the window.  Of course it was too windy today to open the windows.

I am in charge of looking after my friend's chickens.  They have laid two eggs so far and are quite friendly when I throw chicken feed at them.  They peck a bit at my legs which unsettles me.  I have just been to check on them and they are huddled in the henhouse expecting another night of lashing rain and howling wind.

I have remembered how much I hate Christmas.  It is all nonsense and stresses me out.  Roll on 26th December when it is all over. The only good thing is the mulled wine and bread sauce and at least it is not cold and snowing. That would just finish me off.

I am having a "I am sick of the Falklands" weekend.  I cannot get the food I want and there are no shops and the wind is relentless.

Rebecca should have won the X factor tonight, she is very elegant and does not realise it.

Restricted road

All dressed up with nowhere to go.  Was really looking forward to going out to dinner in Stanley tonight but road is restricted because of the high winds.  There is also a gale warning to look forward to.  In the Summer in The Falklands the wind is worse than in the Winter. My hair keeps sticking to my lip gloss.

I was watching the UK news earlier, central Scotland has really bad weather for the second week.  I am quite glad I am here.

I have been deep in thought today - why is it that

I dream every night about what I going to felt next and last night I ran out of needles
Why do all houses not have double sinks
Why does flour always spill out of bags
Why can children not get ready for school in the morning without being nagged

Smirking in Style

This weekend has been fun.  What lovely friends I have here in The Falklands.  We had a lovely ladies lunch on Friday afternoon which started off in the mess in a very demure fashion but then the champagne corks started popping during the first course and everything began to get into a bit of a blur. I was the only one out of 27 women who did not get a rather naughty joke and spent the rest of the lunch trying to work it out with a glazed look on my face. My husband thankfully was able to fill in the blanks.

I discovered jam donut cocktails - very nice.  Also heard a lovely romantic story that put a smile on my face. In fact I just cannot stop smirking for a variety of reasons this weekend.


Today I went to church (I thought it may stop me smirking) dressed entirely in a friend's clothes I have bought from the thrift shop.  I tried to totter along in a pair of my high heels but had to return home to change into my familiar Falklands boots.  I am sick of dressing in fleeces, boots and dodgy old coat.  When I return to the UK, I am going to have style.  I am going to have handbags, high heels and accessories that match.

I asked my husband if he liked my top this morning.  He said it was "too trendy".  My daughter said it was awesome.  My husband would like me to go out wearing tweed or maybe a nice fitted shirt.  I am not even 40 yet.  He also likes me going out with no make up and thinks I should stop dyeing my hair..

Everyone except me has gone to Bertha's beach to do a beach clean up.  The last clean up consisted of walking around the beach for two hours and collecting 14 bin bags worth of rubbish - mainly plastic bags. They are very bad for Penguins. Unfortunately the wind is giving me wrinkles so I am going to have to stop going on on nature trails and stay indoors concentrating on my felting and surfing on fashionable websites to plan my future outfits.

I am off to the gym to get rid of my stomach so that I can wear my new line of trendy fitted tops.  I am going to look really stupid on the treadmill with this smirk on my face. 

Bodie Creek suspension bridge

On Sunday we went to Bodie Creek suspension Bridge.  It has not been in use for about 20 years and is looking a bit on the rusty and shaky side.  It was used to transport sheep across the water.  It was very windy when we were there.  I was convinced the car was going to blow over the edge into the water. 

The gorse is out in full bloom and is a lovely bright yellow colour. It smells of coconut.

Plants no more thanks to my precious pet

I knew something was up the minute I walked into my house this afternoon.  It smelt of herbs. It usually smells of the previous day's evening meal!

My son looked in the conservatory and we found that my two large tomato plants had been snapped in two.  My courgette plant was buried under all the soil that had been tipped out of the plant pots and my large flowering plant was snapped in two.

Initially I thought I had been broken into.  That would be quite easy here because I never lock my door but then who would want to steal plants? Then I saw paw marks all over the windows and mud on the door.  My 8 year old collie has never done anything like this.  She must have seen a cat or hare or turkey vulture. She actually managed to tip the soil completely out of the pots.  Collies are very clever.

I am going to have some wine now.  Most people would get upset over furniture or possessions being ruined but my most precious things were my tomato plants.

No snow in The Falklands

Woken up today to watch Sky news and the snow and traffic reports.  It looks freezing and I am smugly sitting here in a summer ish top and no coat.  Heating is not even on.   I remember the snow in Scotland last Winter and it was hideous.  I do not miss getting up on the dark mornings in a house with single glazing defrosting the car and scrapping off the snow.  I am very glad to be in The Falklands this morning.

My husband and brother in law are off to Bleaker Island today.  Penguins galore.  I am off to work.

Spent a lovely evening last week drinking wine and felting cupcakes.  I am waiting for the dried lavender to arrive and then I will be making Christmas puddings.

The polytunnel yesterday had two cats in it and a new born kitten.  Rocket plants have been sold and we are making a profit on seed costs. 

Limited broadband access is driving me crazy.

Happy hour in 15 minutes

Friday again.  Time is different in the Falklands.  Weeks fly by.  Sometimes I get confused about what month I am on.  Everytime I write a cheque I have to ask what date it is. Here we are in November and it is bright warm sunshine.  It gets light at 6am.  I associate November with cold dark mornings in Scotland where it is vitually impossible to get out of bed. 

I was sweating today while out walking the dog. It was very unattractive. The sun is so strong, no clouds in the sky and no ozone layer. I have realised I have been overfeeding the dog.  Giving her double helpings of food.  I am running out of poo bags. Although I like to keep my husband updated on my daily goings on I think I  may omit the dog overfeeding.  He will not be very understanding. I have managed to keep the door on the car this week.

Rocket, lettuce and radishes ready in the polytunnel.  Also got hold of some oranges today and had some freshly squeezed orange juice.  This is a real luxury. I could hardly believe what I was seeing in the glass. Juice from a fruit.  Utterly amazing.  It had not been frozen or tinned.

In 10 minutes I will be seeing white wine in a glass.  The children are arguing about the sharing out of their final Halloween sweets.  One has one more chewit that the other. It is the end of the world. Sometimes life it just not fair.

Friday night happy hour is about to begin.

I love a wedding

I have just been watching Prince William and Kate Middleton on Sky news.  What a lovely voice she has.  I have never heard her speak.  She has good dress sense too. It is so romantic she has Princess Diana's ring. The news is going to be happy for the next week or so. I love weddings and I am just thinking how I love being married.

Everything was lovely and romantic and happy until I went to the families shop this evening......

I am trying not to be irrational and I am trying not to go on too much about bananas to anyone who will listen but I am on the edge of a massive explosion of wingeing about the lack of fruit and vegetables.  (with the exception of Spinach). 

The wind today is worse than yesterday.  The dog is hiding under my son's bed.  Occasionally her head pokes out and sniffs. My daughter says there is sleet against her window. The polytunnel was taking quite a battering in the wind today.  If it collapses I will truly lose my composure.

I am going to do some internet shopping now.  It is the only therapy - apart from rose wine.

Pot luck spinach at the pot luck supper

Well my red pesto Falklands caught Mullet on a bed of oven cooked spinach with balsamic vinegar and grated cheese went down very well at the pot luck ladies supper tonight.  I am a culinary genius on the same level as Nigella Lawson - obviously.  I made the recipe all by myself by stealing it from my friend's husband and using a jar of ready made pesto sauce along with the £1 Iceland frozen spinach that takes 8 minutes to cook in the microwave. I should write and publish a recipe book.

I have also taken to eating salmon paste on my home cooked bread.  Not something I ever imagined doing but there you are, it is really true that we do not know what life has in store for us. As they say in Scotland what's for you will not go by you.

The wind is really getting on my nerves.  I could hardly walk home tonight. It has been blowing around all day.  The dog has been cowering in the kitchen since this morning.  I am glad to say I still do have my car doors attached although the polytunnel door is about to go.  I have wedged it together with  tyres I managed to get my hands on. 

The windows in my house have been painted on the outside and now I can't open them from the inside.  Maybe I am in an open prison and I just don't realise it.

I went visiting a neighbour today with a friend and introduced her as myself.  I did not correct myself I did not even notice, my friend had to point out she was not me.  I have started laughing for no reason.  The sun was very strong today.  I think I may have overdosed on vitamin D but that is OK tomorrow the hailstones may be back.
 

Brunch bars

Nearly 6 months in the Falklands and on hearing some Scottish accents tonight I wanted to join their conversation and talk about the hills, the thistles, Greggs and drizzle. I am hoping this is just a passing phase, I have another 6 months to go and will be heading most likely to England after that. I have noticed tonight that most people here are Scottish.  They are everywhere. We are 8000 miles away.

A friend and I were out tonight talking to a man who had been here for 17 hours. We were actually boring him about the lack of vegetables and tinned corned beef and ham. Even Spam come into the conversation.  My daughter has started asking for Spam on her sandwiches in her packed lunch. I could see his eyes glaze over and him doing his best to stifle yawns. When did I get so boring?  Walking around with my sad little food obsession. Who cares about bruised pears and the lack of mangos. I never used to but now it is all I think about, day and night.

 I had a pickled onion and cheese sandwich for lunch.  I refuse to eat previously frozen ham and I cannot look at another tin of tuna. I may have to move onto Red Salmon. I have prawns but keep forgetting to defrost them.  This also applies to the Iceland value frozen diced chicken.  Only £2.  I cannot move onto sandwich spreads with the exception of peanut butter and chocolate. Last Monday I spent £24 on a box of cadbury's brunch bars, I have one left, 47 bars scoffed in a week. My children have had a field day.

Pride of Britain Awards

So very uplifting.  Nick Clegg has just given an award.

Allergic to automobiles

Well last week I drained the battery in the car and this week I let go of the car door and it blew off and landed on the road outside my house.  My husband's car does not like me.  It is allergic to me.  It reacts badly when I sit in the driver's seat and turn the key. 

I let my 6 year old son give my husband the good news.  He has suggested that I get my own car.

I spent the day walking - a lot - to the hairdresser, the school, the shop, back to the school and home from school.  I cannot take anymore car issues this week. It looks good just sitting outside the house and the new shiny hinges on the car door look great. I do not want to risk anything by opening the door.

I am sitting with my children watching The Pride of Britain Awards and today I went to a rememberance service.  I nearly started crying through Abide with Me.  Today I am proud to be British.  I need to hold onto this thought.

Nepal was not to be

Just when I was getting excited about the possibility of moving to Nepal for two years, it was confirmed yesterday that my husband will be going on a little tour and I will be going to somewhere in Englandshire to wait for his return. Luckily I live by the mantras of "what will be will be", "everything will turn out in the end" and my favourite "every cloud has a silver lining".

Pros - I will be able to easily get hold of fruit and vegetables, the milk will not be UHT, I will have unlimited broadband access.
    
Cons - totally expensive to live and breathe in the UK, petrol, food, tax, cinema, swimming, parking. There will also be drizzle to contend for half of the year, maybe some flooding thrown in and a shortage of salt in the Winter when the snow arrives. The evening news will be so depressing I will have to unplug the television.   It will be too expensive to pay for the heating bills.

Best of all I will have to smile, stifle yawns and listen to people talking about how much their houses are worth and would I like to see their new kitchens.

I will however be able to buy the Daily Mail on a regular basis and Nick Clegg and I will be in the same country.  I will also get nice and thin worrying about my husband's safety.

All day on-line

Finally it is the 1st of November and I have a new monthly allowance of 3000mbs to get through, all at the bargain price of £120 and then 12p for each megabyte that I go over.  Unlimited broadband is not part of the Falklands experience. Cable and Wireless need Talk Talk to arrive.

I have saved money though.  I have had to limit surfing on Ebay, Boden and Daily Mail websites.  How I love the Daily Mail website.  It is all doom and gloom full of random freak accidents and health scares. I like my horoscope though and I like to keep up to date with Nick Clegg's movements.

My husband is also online, what a romantic evening we are evening, typing away in silence in separate rooms. We are going to log off at 9pm and sit down with a glass of wine to watch Planet of the Apes.  As long as it is not Planet of the Penguins.  I am really quite freaked out about 6ft Penguins. Their feet would be massive and they would be looking down on me. Imagine, I could be flipped to death by a giant Penguin and then I would be in the Daily Mail.

Luckily I was in the school polytunnel this morning and there are no Earwigs to report.  Rocket is ready and Courgettes are doing well.

On the food front, MPA has run out of milk.  Happy Shopper semi skimmed has not been seen for weeks and even the skimmed stuff has run out.  There is some Chilean UHT milk in Stanley but it went out of date months ago. UHT milk makes my teeth feel as if they are dissolving but each morning I wake up still with my own teeth and I am thankful.

Halloween Horror

Halloween today in the sunshine, feels strange not to be in the dark Scottish wind and rain. I have been sunbathing in the garden and even managed a run outside today because there is no wind. The sun is so strong and it is so bright.

My son is dressed as a skeleton and is behaving like a monster. We have lost the skeleton mask and he has gone on and on like a nagging wife. Poor husbands everywhere. I have searched the house from top to bottom while he ordered me around. He is nearly 7 and I think it is fair to say that whatever he does in his life, he will have to be in a leadership role.
Five minutes before the party and the outfit has been changed. A pirate, I have to go and draw a beard on my son’s face. I dare not do it or he may make me walk the plank.

Earwigs and Giant Penguins

We visited Stanley museum today. The lady there told me that there is a fossil of a 6ft Penguin in New Zealand and Penguins used to be much bigger than they are now. My husband is 6ft, I keep looking at him and imagining him as a giant Penguin. It is a wonder I can sleep at night.

There is also a new problem in the Falklands - the introduction of the Earwig. It has made its way here possibly through builder’s sand from the UK and is eating its way through vegetables and plants that are growing in the gardens. They are just in Stanley for now but only the bottom half and have not reached MPA yet. They can fly but not that far. As if fruit and vegetables are not hard enough to come by, now there are Earwigs to contend with. If the Falkland Islanders introduce a predator as in a Hedgehog, then they will not be interested in cabbages and lettuce but bird’s eggs and that creates another problem.

I just have to say that I went food shopping in Stanley this afternoon and got so much nice food. It did cost me £167 but I got decent bacon and sausages (frozen from UK), mushrooms and peppers (frozen), cereal (only one month out of date) and jar of Guacamole (made mostly out of pea puree). Cheap wine and organic beef as always but no fresh fruit and vegetables. Shelves were empty apart from an onion that was sprouting and an avocado that was very soft and £1.80. I was pleased with my 6 tins of Sainsbury’s ratatouille. I got excited when I saw Pains au Chocolate but then the sell by date was 1 September.

David you should have been there

David Attenborough missed himself.

I do not need to watch any more BBC nature documentaries. I have seen it in real life and it really is a feeling you want to bottle up and keep forever. We flew half an hour by helicopter to Sea Lion island to see the Elephant Seals and their pups. I did not see any Sea Lions but they are there somewhere. We were looking for them on top of a cliff and it was a bit on the windy side so we did not last long.

The sun came out as we got to the beach where the Elephant Seals were and they looked at first like giant rocks in different shades of brown. Then they moved, they had eyes and whiskers and flipped their tails about.  There was quite a lot of itching of flippers. They mostly lay napping in the sunshine. The biggest male ones were about 15ft long.

Two males got up and I thought there may be a fight but they managed to just give each other menacing looks and then rise above it and turn away sniffing noses upturned in the air. One large male seal swam around in the sea. It was a bit like the Loch Ness monster without the neck. Another couple of seals lay in the sea mating one totally squashed on top of the other and another opened its mouth and roared for a bit, then it got tired. They are quite fat and must not have a lot of energy. My daughter was a bit frightened. She was amazed at the size of them and they are quite noisy. They have a barking grunt.

A Caracara hopped along as we were eating our picnic. He had some sandwiches. I think we were quite lucky to see such a rare bird of prey. I am getting really spoilt with all the wildlife here. Oh another Caracara. I would quite like to discover a new species.

We then went to see the Penguins. Most of them were nesting, a few Penguins had wondered off and forgotten about their eggs. This happens with the younger ones. There were a few suspicious sea gulls flying overhead. The Macaroni Penguins were the most friendly. We were about 4ft away from them. We saw Magellanic and Gentoo Penguins also or it may have been Rockhoppers. Penguins can bend their heads backwards to the the point where they look headless. Respect to party trick Penguins.

Sheep shearing in Goose Green

Spent a lovely warm sunny day today in Goose Green watching 2000 sheep having a haircut.  The fleeces are bagged up in 20 kilo bags and shipped to the UK for cleaning.  Contractors come from New Zealand and Chile as well as Falkland Islanders.  They can shear about 300 sheep per day each. There was a bit of blood and I don't like blood.  I can hardly type the word, I feel sick. I gave blood once and fainted.  It was all very embarrassing.

I was assured that sheep have a pain threshold 10 times higher than humans.  I do not know if this is true or not.

Children are on October break.  It feels strange spending this week in the sunshine.  It was great for them to get so close to the sheep and to watch the shearing process close up. Usually in the UK it is a dull rainy week where a lot of money is spent taking children to the cinema or bowling.  I like the seasons being the wrong way around.

We finished the day off having a late lunch in the Goose Green cafe.  Toilet is the owner's toilet, you walk through the living room to get there.  A home from home. Very nice bacon sandwich smothered in brown sauce.  I could not face the red tomato ketchup.

The land where nature rules

Ascension Island is the most interesting place I have ever been to and we have come back having had the best holiday ever. It is a volcanic island but manages to have banana plantations up on Green mountain along with yams, guavas and papayas. Land crabs are everywhere, donkeys stand in the middle of the road and rats roam on the mountain. 

There are not many people living there, about 750 in total. Turtles swim in the pier in the evenings and yellow canaries fly around in the day.

When you arrive at the airport you feel disappointed, it looks volcanic and barren.  You drive about 10 minutes by car and everything changes.  Beaches with white sand, clear blue sea.  Palm trees and flowers. Sun shines all day.



Just one problem - I want to be back there!

Ascension adventure

Very shortly I am off on holiday to Ascension Island which is 8 hours by plane from the Falklands. It is 28 degrees there today.  It is 8 degrees in The Falklands.  I will fly off from here in walking boots and then land in Ascension with my flip-flops on. I have only seen Ascension from the airport.  It looks very volcanic. Friends that has already been say it is a bit like being on the moon. I have always wanted to visit the moon. It is volcanic but there has been no eruption for 600 years so I am hopeful that I will be OK.  I am delighted to know that I will be able to watch the X factor and Strictly on Saturday night.

I have some great friends here and they have lent me shorts, dresses, mosquito repellant, sun-tan lotion, maps, snorkels, underwater cameras. Living here could completely restore even the most cynical person's view of human nature.  Community spirit is alive and well.  People help each other. It is a good thing to check on neighbours, to ask how they are, to stop and say hello. People wave to you in their cars and say good morning - even when you have absolutely no idea who they are. If I am walking which is often because I do not drive much, people stop to offer me a lift. I do not always know who they are. Quite a high proportion are Scottish. We get everywhere.

I have managed to get 30 catering tins from a very helpful catering manager to use as plant pots for the school polytunnel and some very helpful St Helenian builders drilled some holes in the bottom for me. People here take pleasure in helping others, it must be the sunshine, it makes humans happy. I am in a very good mood today.  I love love love The Falklands.

There is a farmhouse for sale in the West Falklands that I am quite interested in. I saw it from the helicopter last weekend. (did I mention I was in a helicopter!).  No school, very remote. Lovely hills and lots of sheep.  Food brought in by ferry.

In the Falklands it is difficult for outsiders (such as myself) to buy property.  The government is strict, they do not just let anyone in. There are certain conditions to buying property here.  You may have to keep farming if you buy a farm and conserve the land. Not just buy and split houses into flats and bulldoze in and ruin everything for a quick profit.  No no no. The bank will only lend 3 times a salary, it is hard to get a mortgage. The Falklanders do not want outsiders inflating the prices and pushing Islanders out.  It is like music to my ears.

There are no estate agents either. The house and land is advertised for sale in the one and only paper and offers are made to buy direct to the owner.  La la la la la. I feel like dancing around the room.
I have not been able to watch Sky news over the last two weeks.  Both political UK parties blaming each other for the big mess UK is in. I can stomach about 4 minutes and then I turn it over to the movie channel. Loose Women is also quite a good distraction.

The house painting has been going on all week.  A nice Scotman from Kilmarnock has been doing the  the job along with an English man who moved to the Falklands as a child but now lives in St Helena and has a strong St Helena accent.  The Scotsman still sounds Scottish.

A day without wind

I was out walking earlier in the sunshine and realised what was missing - no wind.  It is unusual.  I saw people walking, running and even someone on a bike.  Seeing people on a bike is not an every day occurrence.  It is not the safest of activies in 60mph winds.

I am hoping this stillness is going to last. My hair is looking quite good today. I have made some more Penguins and an Angel.

I have found out that a Falkland Islander is growing vegetables in Fitzroy which is not far from here.  He grows blue potatoes.  My husband has met him. He has a big conservatory.  I want to meet him.  There is also a potato farmer here. 

We have planted chillies, carrots and lettuce this week in the polytunnel and I might be able to make some raised beds for potatoes outside using old wooden crates that I have managed to save from being binned.  I am like Stig of the Dump.

Entertaining - Falklands style

I am going to have 8 people for dinner tomorrow night.  This should be a stress-free easy event.  I have decided to make boring old lasagne because I can get nice minced beef.  I am not feeding guests frozen Iceland chicken or corned beef hash (minus the potatoes or using Smash) and I understand that not everyone shares my liking for Pilchards.

There is however a problem with the cheese sauce.  There is a shortage of milk to buy so I am having to use ready made Dolmio white sauce. There is some milk in Stanley but it is long-life out of date UHT and there is occasionally UHT skimmed milk in the little shop here on camp.

I am happy to say that I will be able to make a sticky toffee pudding as long as I remember to make some natural yoghurt tonight to put in it.  There is only out of date yoghurt in the shops and you can never rely on there being any on the shelves. Entertaining here takes more planning and thinking ahead.  You have to make dishes not based on what you want to cook but on what you can get to cook.

There will be no salad with the lasagne.  I did get a lettuce, 4 tomatoes and a cucumber this week but they are very precious and there will be no more until next Monday.  We have a new shop here and this week we got Nectarines and Plums flown in from the UK.  My son was amazed, he had forgotten they existed.

On the wine front I have no complaints. Cheaper than the UK and Chilean wine is great and readily available. With my child benefit being scrapped I may have to stop drinking wine soon.

Helicoper ride

Eleven years ago I got married.  Never would I have thought that I would have spent my wedding anniversary on a helicopter flying around The Falkland Islands. How did this happen?  I was going to live in Edinburgh all my life and marry a Scotsman.

My husband gave me half an hour's notice to get ready and then we were off.  My first time in a helicopter and not being great with heights I was making a few funny faces at the beginning. I looked very attractive in my earmuffs. Also some dashing army men sitting beside me.

The West Falklands are just like Scotland.  The land is so barren, the beaches have golden sand and geologists would love the see all the different rock formations.

Still no potatoes in the shops but who cares, Champagne and chocolates tonight in front of Strictly Come Dancing and X Factor.  Wedding anniversary number 11 is going to be a hard act to follow.

ps Not a Penguin, Sea Lion or Dolphin in sight.  I think I might scare them.

Smash

There is still a shortage of potatoes so I may have to resort to eating Smash this week.  It is the only way I am going to get Smashed because alcohol is a big no no in my life from now on.  I have decided to become totally tee-total.  So far I am on day 3.

I went to the gym this morning and ran 10km and I am 1 kilo lighter.  I am high on all the endorphins and I am officially a gym freak.  I will start wearing a sweatband on my forehead soon.

I have managed to get hold of 30 empty plastic mayonnaise and 4 litre ice-cream tubs for the school polytunnel. I collect them next week.  I think I looked a bit suspicious poking my nose in skips today. This week we are planting peas and courgettes.

Yesterday we had the best day in Darwin feeding lambs and then having smoko (Falklands tea and cakes).  My husband kept praising the home-made rhubarb jam so I know what I getting him for Christmas.

The shelves in the shop are jam packed with food.  I even managed to get hold of some babybels. I am not going to complain though because the lady we talked to in Darwin yesterday told us about how she never saw a Cherry Tomato for 8 months and lived on ration packs. There is always someone worse off in the world.

A man from St Helena has just rang my doorbell to tell me that from Wednesday there will be workmen here painting my house. Another man also turned up to spray weed killer on my garden.  I did explain I have no grass but he happily sprayed the stones anyway. There is grass seed on its way...

I love living in my wooden house on its stilts with its wriggly tin roof.

Prior to this house we lived in a rented house in Scotland.  Renting in the private sector was a learning experience. I have learnt the lesson and I do not think I need any more knowledge in this area. I was shocked but then I am very naive and very spoilt.  I have been well looked after over the last 11 years but it I only realised it once I lived out of the bubble. I am so glad I have jumped back in.

The problem with potatoes

The Falkland Islands is very short on potatoes at the moment.  I went to one of the supermarkets in Stanley today and was faced with very empty fruit and vegetable shelves.  I think new supplies are flown in from Chile every Saturday but it does not reach the shops until Sunday.   No potatoes anywhere this morning apart from a few old shrivelled ones in the families shop here on camp that have eyes in them. 

We have spent the last week eating frozen hash browns, french fries and roast potatoes.  My frozen onions are a great discovery.  No crying eyes when peeling and chopping onions.  I hope they sell them in the UK.

My husband and I went to the Falklands Conservation ball last night.  We were hoping to win the £22,000 cruise with our one £20 raffle ticket but it was not to be.  We did not have much luck on the charity auction either.  One painting went for £1,500 and the penguin oil painting I had my eye on went for £700.  There is most definitely money here.  I have decided that later on today I am going to paint my own Penguin masterpiece. 

The school polytunnel is going well.  We have planted tomatoes, cucumbers and peas and next week we are planting carrots, radishes and beetroot.  I want to get hold of some big containers to use as plantpots and plant some potatoes.

The good news from this week has been the unloading of the ship that docked last weekend.  The shelves are full of chocolate and biscuits.  

Lunch with the Penguins

Today I had the best day in a long time. Shared lunch with my husband sitting against a sand dune in bright sunshine watching Penguins with no-one else around.

The high levels of sunshine have affected me.  I have overdosed on vitamin D and was dancing earlier to Lionel Ritchie in the mess and telling everyone how good he is.  The 4 glasses of wine I have had  have given me an extra rosy glow in addition to the sunburn I have on my face. My face hurts when I smile.  I have been trying to frown but I am so happy it is impossible. They do not give out free factor 30 suntan lotion out in the medical centre for nothing.

We walked for half an hour along the most amazing beach and watched 4 Dolphins playing in the surf.  They looked to me like baby killer whales but I have been assured that they were a type of Dolphin.  We saw geese, gulls, plovers, petrels, turkey vultures, oyster catchers and then we walked another 40 minutes and saw 7 Penguins.  We missed out on the colony 200 metres from where we were sitting.  Next time I will know where to look and I have been told there are about 100 Penguins. You smell them before you see them. They were plumper than I expected.  They could hardly walk.

My husband took some wonderful photos.  He kept telling me to stay still and not get so close.  He said I was not eating my crisps quietly enough. I suppose I was rustling the packet quite a lot. I managed to mess up his sophisticated camera on the way home. There are far too many buttons to choose from.

I feel high tonight with contentment.  I feel as if I have been on gas and air.  (I haven't, although I did love that stuff and highly recommend it). Everything is wonderful.  The stars, the air, the peacefulness.  The world is such a wonderful place, especially in those places you can go where humans are not.

Just when I thought things could not get any better I went to see the headmistress at school and from Monday the planting in the polytunnel begins. I cannot wait to get those seeds in the ground and to watch what happens.  We are planting tomatoes next week and then the allotment begins the week after.

I am soaring as high as the Petrels I saw today.  Long may this feeling last.

PS  There are no chocolate bars anywhere in the shops or vending machines. Shelves are completely bare. The ship is in the port but it is still being unloaded and there will be no chocolate bars until Monday.  My husband and I had to resort to buying a big box of chocolates.  We have just eaten a box of Dairy Box between us. I am never going to just buy a chocolate bar again.  Not big enough.

Perfect end to a perfect day.

Exciting news

Today we are off to a secluded, exclusive beach and there are Penguins and Dolphins there. We will have the beach to ourselves, sharing it only with hundreds of birds who are so tame they stare at you instead of flying away.  The sun is shining, the sky is blue, not a cloud in sight. 

My husband is making a flask of coffee and packing some banana cake.

Life could not be more perfect.

Photos to follow.

Bad Karma

My favourite mug that my husband bought me last Mother's day has just smashed and this is what happens when you winge too much about bananas. 

There is a shop here that sells fruit and vegetables flown over from the UK once a week.  I bought 5 bananas which is more than I should have because there are never enough to go around the families that live here and now cosmic forces have destroyed my most favourite coffee mug. I would do anything to be able to piece it back together.

I also bought two tubs of Phildelphia last week when there were only about 20 to go around.  Selfish Mrs Penguin. I feel guilty now every time I have a cracker with Philadelphia on it.  I might have to return the half empty tub to ease my conscience. I may never be able to eat Philadelphia again.

The "system" of buying fruit in the familes shop has dominated most of my weekly thoughts and it is only Wednesday.  There are many people trying to buy a limited proportion of fruit and vegetables.  It is like the Next Boxing Day sale when you queue outside.  If you are there at the shop when the doors open you get a a varied basket full of fruit and vegetables. If you go later on in the day the shelves are a bit bare.

I am going to start shopping more in Stanley.  There are two big supermarkets. The posts will get interesting when I start driving on the Stanley road.  I need to stay on the good side of cosmic forces..

Frozen strawberries

Well here I am again one week on and still talking about food.  I bought some frozen strawberries today and got very excited.  We had them this evening and my husband asked if they were the tinned ones from China that were in the out of date tin we had last time.  They were £4.99 for a tiny bag. 

To dampen my spirits more, my Lakeland package full of yoghurt making supplies did not arrive with this weekend's plane so I will have to wait until Saturday.  I made the delivery nearly 10 days ago. Getting post once a week is for patient people.

But some very exciting things have happened today.  Firstly and most importantly I am an Auntie and I have been smiling proudly all day.  I am also the proud carer of my first tomato seedling. I felt it was a miraculous moment when I saw the little green shoot.  How I love growing things.

The sun has been shining all day and the sky has been blue and the wind fairly manageable.  I think Spring may be on its way.  I have definitely been hearing more birds singing and it is light until 7pm.

The seeds will soon be planted in the polytunnel and I will have salad by November. 

I took some photos today while out walking the dog and when I put them on the computer I realised how lucky I am to be here in this unique place.  It is barren and windy but natural and I like it.

It looks like I will have to "make do"

I have just run 8.5k at the gym.  My target is 10k.  My other target is to get rid of my stomach but that does not seem to be working. It just all hangs out in a very unattractive way.

I have discovered cooking with pastry - quiches, treacle tart, pesto tartlets.  That is the bad news. The good news is that it is highly unlikely I will be able to get hold of the ingredients to make any of the mouth-watering delights.  I tried to make a quiche today but did not realise I had to defrost the short-crust readymade pastry first.  If I had not moved to The Falklands I may never learnt this valuable lesson. I only ever bought quiche from Marks and Spencer.

Next week it will be Corned Beef Hash and frozen £2 Iceland chicken. My husband is in Stanley at this very moment buying me some chopped frozen onions. I will sleep well tonight.

Coming from the UK I have realised we are so spoilt in terms of getting what we want when we want. Moving here is a big adjustment. I thought the Falklands would be overflowing with fruit from Chile.  I thought there would be more home-grown produce.  There is no chicken farm, just eggs. No dairy.  I suppose at the end of the day there are only 4000 people so whatever business is set up there are not enough customers to cover the costs and make a proft. The Penguins do not want to buy bananas and the Elephant Seals have no interest in the discovery of oil.

 

Foggy Falklands

It does not look like I will be getting my Lakeland yoghurt sachets today.  No planes can land due to dense fog.  In the Falklands the weather patterns are completely random.  In the last week we have had wind, rain, snow, hailstones, a warm day and not fog. It is a constant test of patience living here.  You have to learn to have a manana manana attitude although it is not always days that there will be delays but weeks.

We are going to the Falklands Conservation Ball in two weeks.  A night out in Stanley.  That is if the road does not close due to random freak weather condiditons.

Lakeland parcel in two days

In two days we should receive our weekly post and I am hoping that my Lakeland parcel will arrive.  In order to get free postage I ordered over £50 worth of Easy-yo yoghurt sachets to make my children healthy puddings and yoghurts for breakfast and their lunchboxes.  The Falklands will never become known for its dairy produce.  There are no dairy cows at all on the Islands and all the milk and cream is UHT from either the UK or Chile. At first you notice the difference in taste but now I do not notice it. When I first arrived here, I used coffee-mate in coffee.

Very rarely you will see creme fresh in Stanley and once I saw clotted cream but you can never rely on it so recipes have to be amended and imagination has to be used.  Low fat natural yoghurt is a healthier substitute for cream, sour cream and creme fresh. I also have some Greek natural yoghurt sachets coming. 

I have some tinned chickpeas and might have an attempt at making hummous. This will be closest thing I will get to dips.

My tomato seeds are not growing.  I think it is still too cold in my conservatory.  I might put the heater on to help them a bit. There is a little bit of sun today.

The shelves are very bare in the shops here this week but there is a ship due in this weekend so it should be easier to get supplies next week.

Onions

My whole day today has been disrupted by the lack of onions for sale in The Falklands.  It all started last night when I wanted to make a big batch of bolognese.  I had no onions.  My husband very kindly went out to get some but the shop did not have any.  He did return with wine so all was not lost.

Due to the fact there is no Tesco here or 24 hour shopping I waited until today.  I was on a mission.

This morning all the shop had to offer were soggy brown onions that were spongy or red onions with green roots showing. My whole day has actually been dictated by onions.  I taste and smell of onions because the home-made coleslaw I made two days ago (using up all the onions I had) has far too many onions in it. I am becoming obsessed with onions.

The good  news is that I am going to help out two days a week in the school polytunnel and the first seeds I am planting are onions. I have been told I can buy frozen chopped onions in Stanley so that will be the event of the weekend.

My hair is still yellow, the hairdresser was closed today.

My son was amazed to see the sun's rays poking through the morning clouds.  It was a miracle and we took a photo.

ps: for those who read this regularly you will note that my last few posts have been quite mundane and sensible.  Although my antics of last week were absolutely hilarious I am really trying to behave myself from now on.  Cooking with onions will keep me on the straight and narrow.

The school run

The journey to school in The Falklands was relatively stress-free this morning.  No rush hour, no problem finding a parking space.  Just a nice walk in the snow surrounded by Upland Geese. I did end up with two school bags, lunch boxes and swimming kit but it is a good start to the day. The wind chill gave me a nice bright red glow to my face.  It has probably burned my skin off my cheeks.  I will not need to spend any money on a chemical peel at least.

I now intend to bleach my house.  I found a dried up noodle on the kitchen floor this morning and the oven has not been cleaned since June.  I found a burnt potato waffle at the back over the weekend. I could never understand why no matter what I cooked it always smelt of burnt potato.

Getting annoyed with the limited range of food on offer to buy in MPA.  There is a limit to how many prawns I can eat.  I have not seen chicken breasts for weeks and I need an onion but I may have to drive for 50 minutes in the wind to Stanley for that.  It is annoying me today.

I would like fresh milk, not UHT.  I would like vegetables like aubergines and courgettes.  I would like fresh herbs not dried.  I did manage to get a dozen fresh eggs from a farmer's wife who works here so I will be able to bake cakes at least. 

I went to see the Chilean hairdresser this afternoon to talk about going natural - from dyed blonde to mousey brown.  I live in a natural environment so maybe I should become peroxide free. She told me that she would indeed sort my hair out with highlights or lowlights and not to worry she would get rid of the yellow. My hair is yellow.  Nothing better than honestly I always think. 

My children are still up eating chocolate profiteroles.  Licking all the sauce from the bowls.  It is past their bedtime.  I have a busy evening ahead looking up felting websites and blogs. Why can't children just go to sleep?

Sleeping on the sofa

The storm last night was fierce.  The wind felt as if it was coming sideways through our house.  I lay in bed thinking that the wind was so strong it was going to force my bedroom window inwards and then it would smash all over the bed.  Once I got this into my head I grabbed a spare duvet and tried to get some sleep on the living room sofa.  The wind was howling and so strong.  I could feel the house shaking.  I think it was 60mph.

I had a restless dream filled sleep.  There was snow this morning and I managed to get the children to school in a gap in the snowstorms. My daughter had a headache with the cold, you can feel the wind burning your cheeks. So far she has been refusing to wear a hat but she may have to give in today and not worry about whether or not it is fashionable.  I will be putting my balaclava on when I go out to pick them up.

Our bird table has blown over and there are no Turkey Vultures.  They are in hiding along with my neighbour's chickens.

I have had to move my tomato plants into the kitchen.  The conservatory is freezing today and nothing will grow.

I hear a howl

I can confirm that the storm has begun.  I just tried to go outside but gave up.  The windows are rattling and the rain is sideways and criss-crossed.  My daughter just said that she saw the carpet move.  This could be true, anything is possible in the Falklands. I like to keep an open mind.  Hailstones are included for no extra charge.

I have devised something to keep my mind off the hurricane outside and I am pleased to introduce a new addition to my Penguin family.  Mr Macaroni.  He is settling in well.

Storm in a teacup

The storm that was forecast for today has arrived but it is rubbish.  Just a normal windy day.  No snow as promised, no 70mph winds. How I am going to get excitement today?

Went to BUNCO last night, did not win.  Also burnt the millionaires shortbread I made yesterday.  I think my home-baking days may be coming to an end. I feel oven ready scampi and chips for tea coming on.

A storm brewing

Weather forecast for this evening in the Falkland Islands is 70mph winds and snow.   I went out for a walk earlier and my ears were hurting. It is quite windy already. You really need a hat wherever you go. 

I did not see a single Turkey Vulture.  They know something is coming.

I am immersing myself in home baking.  I am going to attempt to make millionaires shortbread. It is only for millionaires here, £3.79 for a tin of condensed milk. I also had to buy some milk powder for my home made bread, £3.99 for a tin of Marvel.  Marvellous.

Banana bread

Burned off 466 calories on the running machine this afternoon so I have just had two pieces of my freshly baked banana bread and then my home-made yoghurt will be ready at 6.30pm.  I do not want to get too thin because then the bones in my neck will stick out and I will look like a Turkey Vulture.

I have that crazy Friday afternoon feeling today. Too much happiness.  Happy hour in two hours and what a happy lady I am.  It is the sun here which is very strong today.

Back to the other side

Well we made it safe and sound to the land of wind.  It has definitely got windier. Sun is shining and house has not blown over. Off to the shop soon to get some Pilchards, oh how I have missed them.

I forgot just as we were taking off last night just how much I am afraid of flying.  I watched the doors being closed and then got it in my head that the air hostess had not locked them properly and I thought they might open as we were taking off and then I would have been sucked out into mid air somewhere over England.  That would be a sorry way to go. I was also convinced that I had left my mobile phone on during the second take off and I would be responsible for the plane losing control and I would be prosecuted. It was switched off.  I checked it about 10 times.

It is a miracle I go anywhere.  I am taking a real risk walking to the shop in this wind. My hair is going to go curly. I bet the Turkey Vultures have missed me.

I have to say it is lovely to be back.  It is so open and unspoilt here. I felt really happy as the plane was landing.  This was partly because I was relieved the plane had arrived in one piece. I do not think those safely emergency slides would be much fun and if we ever had to land in the sea it would be freezing and very choppy.

 I feel relaxed, white wine chilling in fridge, I will be asleep by teatime.

Touch and go

Well it was touch and go yesterday and a miracle I am here to write to you.  We all went on a lovely family sailing day near St Mawes in Cornwall.  We had lunch at a secluded beach.  The minute we got there in our little dingy the tide started to come in.  All I could think about was how we would be in the Daily Mail today photographed hanging from the cliffs or being airlifted by the coastguard. I cannot take his amount of worry while on holiday.  The strange thing is that I seemed to the only one aware in the party of 9 how much danger we were in.  I might have got my hair wet and my mascara was at risk of smudging.   I had to have two glasses of sherry last night to celebrate my survival and now I have a headache.

Only fruit and nut chocolate left on shelves

Food is shipped to the Falkland Islands and there seems to be a shortage of chocolate bars.  I had a very disturbing shop yesterday. Only bars of Cadburys fruit and nut and one packet of Maltesers. Also no oven chips. I had to resort to eating Iceland's cauliflower cheese.  I have tasted better but I am trying not to be fussy.  The rest of the confectionary shelves were empty.  I checked the vending machines and they were empty also. I could hardly sleep last night with the worry of it all.  I would probably need medication if I had to live without chocolate. I would have to leave the Falkland Islands.

Spent most of yesterday recovering from Saturday night's Summer ball.  I had intended not to drink but I was driven to it with circumstances of the day earlier on. Pimms, rose wine, white wine and champagne. It was quite difficult walking in the ice and snow in high heels.

I nearly set the house on fire before I went out.  Put the microwave popcorn on for 4 minutes instead of 3.  There was smoke everywhere and I turned up at the ball smelling of a wood fire. I downed two Pimms and then had to phone my babysitter to check that the smouldering bag of burnt popcorn had not gone on fire in the dustbin outside.  I had seen a fire engine on the way to the ball and my house is made of wood.

My daughter answered the phone and sighed and slammed the phone down on me.  I am becoming a bit of an embarrassment to her. I think her patience is beginning to run out. I can't even appease her with chocolate.

Good news is that my dress was too big for me and my babysitter helped me to pin myself into my dress with safety pins so it would not fall down.

Irritating Ipods

I had a very irritating trip to the gym today.  I could not get the volume turned up on my husband's Ipod so I decided to reset the settings and accidently changed the language from English to Chinese. I am keen to find out if any Chinese people live in The Falklands.

Ladies that lunch in Stanley

Up early this morning to drive to Stanley to take part in a Save the Whale walk. I had a lovely morning sleeping until the last possible moment and then getting ready.  My husband pulled his hair out watching my son smear porridge all over himself and the table. Then he could not find a matching pair of socks. It was all very dramatic.

 We arrived early for the walk and it took two hours of brisk marching. We got some good photos of white sandy beaches and saw some Dolphins. It has been a great week weatherwise.  Sunshine every day and hardly any wind. I have had a taste of what it is going to be like in the Spring and Summer and I am very optimistic about my life here.

In fact life has never been rosier.  The pace of life is very relaxed and I find myself trying to get wound up like I used to but the fresh air here means I am constantly tired and have no energy to get worked up about anything. I just sigh a lot with contentment.

After the walk I went with a group of friends to a upmarket hotel on the seafront. I had a lovely Caesar salad with lots of white wine and felt totally delighted with life. There is salad here after all, you just have to find where it hides.

My calm state of mind will only last until Thursday.  Then the school holidays begin for a month.

Darwin was a bit driech yesterday

We went to Darwin yesterday which is about an hour's drive away.  The road is much better than the Stanley road.  The ditch on either side is only about 2 ft instead of 10.  We saw about 5 other cars and thought that was a bit excessive.  We are getting used to having the roads to ourselves and that is why my husband and everyone else (apart from me because I am not driving much) drives in the middle of the road. 

A nice misty, rainy day just like in Scotland.  In fact Darwin looks just like Scotland. We went for "smoko" which as you can probably guess originally involved smoking.  It was a smoking break for the peat cuttters and collectors in times gone by. As already mentioned my husband still likes smoko although it really is not the trend
now.  All the coughing and smelling and making ceilings go yellow etc.

Our "smoko" involved tea, coffee and as much cake that you could eat for £3.50.  I was controlled and had one piece of chocolate cake. My husband had 3 cakes, the children had 4 cakes each.  My daughter was not very hungry at teatime last night and  I have just spent the last two hours at the gym burning up 600 calories.  I have not lost any weight and I am seriously considering having a bar of Galaxy.

The sugar rush was quite unbearable afterwards. My son was yelling in a very annoying high pitched way. We went for a walk along by the water, avoiding sheep, chickens and ducks. They were also very hyperactive and kept quacking and cock a doodle doing. Our dog was going mad and she had not even had any cake.

.

Winter's day at Surf Bay

Had a great day today at Surf Bay which is just outside Stanley.  We went to help plant the Tussock grass that was collected yesterday from Kidney Island.  My daughter and I lasted about 5 minutes, our hair was blowing in our eyes and something, maybe dust or soil was blowing up from the peat as we tried to dig into it.  We had our waterproofs on and I had so many layers that I fitted easily into my husband's coat.  I looked ridiculous.  We left my husband and son to it and headed off to the beach instead.

My daughter and I met the three legged dog on the beach that we had heard about and watched Dolphins swimming in the sea. Our dog was brave enough to go into the water.  She also rolled in something disgusting and now stinks.  My husband suggested giving her a bath but that really did raise my blood pressure.  No way, she would shake herself all over the bathroom and I cleaned it yesterday.

Our car with the dodgy clutch made it to Stanley and back.  We saw a defender just like ours upside down in the ditch.  The Stanley road and the ditches on either side are just not funny. The only disappointment was that The Pink Shop was closed.  This is a shop that is Pink on the outside and sells a basket full of wool for felting.  Last night Florence my felted fish got lucky and met Fred.  They are getting very friendly.

Another tin of pilchards last night on toast washed down with Chilean rose wine at £3.  I know how to push the boat out. Here is good website

http://www.glenryck.co.uk/pages/pilchard-recipes.htm

All for a bunch of grapes

Today we woke up to sun shining and no wind. On Friday the weather had been so bad it is hard to describe. There was a blizzard in the morning before school that made all the windows in the house covered with snow that looked like icing sugar. The wind howled and the house rattled. We made a run for it to get to school while there was a break in the weather. I live constantly on a knife edge here!

I then decided that I needed a bunch of grapes and had to take the car. I have driven in the car once since I arrived here in 4 weeks and then I decide on the worst day possible that I have to get in the car. I HAD to get grapes. I do not know what possessed me.

First of all none of the doors would open. The temperature was -14 with the wind chill and all the doors were frozen apart from the back door. I climbed in over the back seats and started the car. Then I realised the windscreen wipers were too frozen to work. I had no ice scraper. I went back into the house and improvised with the plastic shovel to scrape the windows and windscreen.

As I got back into the car the wind blew the car door onto my leg and it really hurt. It is a major problem here with car doors blowing off and I am completely serious. I am constantly on my guard for car doors flying through the air. Then outside the car while trying to scrape the ice the wind blew the shovel out of my hand and it blew under the car out of my reach. I decided at that point to get into the car and let it warm up. Twenty boring, cold minutes later things were starting to defrost.

I got to the shop to discover there were no grapes but there was wine so I bought several bottles of grape juice instead and a bar of Dairy Milk. I deserved it after my ordeal and would celebrate if I made it home safely. Outside the shop on the way back I forgot that when driving the car the first and only time I was unable to get the car in reverse. Stupid gearstick, stupid car. A passer-by had to stop and help me. While stationary the car was actually moving in the wind from side to side.

Humming and baking

I actually caught myself humming happily while baking banana bread last night.  Whas has happened to me? I was totally contented.  What a freak.   I even managed to successfully bake the bread without using scales (they are still on ship somewhere on the Atlantic) and without a recipe book, also on ship.

The four bananas cost £3.60 and were brown when bought and really nearly rotten inside and the children refused to eat them but they cost nearly £4 so waste not want not and all that. It could be weeks before I see bananas again.  The cake tin did cost £10, probably would have been about £4 in Tesco or even buy one get one free. I am missing out on a lot of Tesco clubpoints. The concept of BOGOF has not reached The Falklands.  The generous helpings of sugar and butter will probably not have done my diet any good.

My son said my baking smelt delicious.  He is a happy little soul. Oh the pleasure of cutting it up this morning for my children and lovingly wrapping it in cling film was indescribable.  What a good wholesome mother I am. Maybe I will start wearing an apron around the house and get a feather duster. (I wonder how long I am going to last in this phase).

My two are not used to smelling home-made food, no Greggs the bakers here or Sainsbury's finest and do not even get me started on Marks and Spencers.

My beloved husband is a complete bird watcher and has turned our washing line into a bird feeder. There are bags of nuts hanging from all 4 sides.  As if there were not enough birds around to torture me.  I could see them twittering to each other.  It will be all around the Falklands that my garden has free food.  I now have my own Aviary.  Oh dear, I am humming as I type this. 

Sheep skulls

My son and daughter saw their first sheep skull on Saturday.  In fact they saw a whole decaying sheep.  we had a funeral and said some prayers at the request of my son.  I think there will be quite a few sheep skulls to see in our time here. The turkey vultures had made a good job of tidying things up.

I have spent the morning at the gym.  I should never had stood on the scales.  It was far worse than I thought.  The weight I thought I was dated back to 2001 when I last weighed myself. Things have gradually got a bit worse since then.  Sort of like the British economy, cuts are going to have to be made and they are long overdue.  I, like the labour government have been in serious denial for a long time about how bad things really are.  I have been watching Sky news for the last half an hour, I am quite depressed and maybe I should stop doing so much internet shopping.

There is something here called the Falklands Stone.  It could be something to do with all the frozen food you end up eating - potato waffles, fish fingers, chicken kievs, hash browns, oven chips, all deep fried in oil no doubt. Then there are the very convenient vending machines selling crisps, chocolate, pringles, sandwiches.  Then there is the great cafe selling freshly baked home-made cakes.  I am starving, have to go it is time for lunch.

Time warp

I am in a time warp.  Went to the cafe yesterday, we go there every day, lovely home made cakes and paninis.  All the newspapers are from Mid May.  Even magazines on sale are in May.  Maybe it is May here and not June?

You can only get UHT milk, no fresh milk here at all. I might invest in a yoghurt maker.  I have resorted to buying coffeemate to put in coffee.

Internet access is also limited.  Big charges if you go over a set amount of downloading/surfing.  I might have to start writing letters.

Good news is that I am no longer being stalked by the Turkey Vulture.  It has lost interest.  Now I have more to worry about.  A security dog has been on the loose now for 5 days. 

A whole new world of tinned and frozen food

In The Falklands Iceland food is really popular.  I don't think I have ever been inside an Iceland shop in Scotland. I am turning into Kerry Katona. "Only smart Mum's go to Iceland" now has meaning.  There is also frozen Waitrose food although it is expensive.  A few more month's here and £14 for a frozen Waitrose fish pie will seem like a bargain. 

We have also being going through tinned food like never before.  Heinz steaming (I mean steamed, I have got to go easy on the cheap Chilean Wine) puddings are quite nice.  I might have to start buying tinned fruit.  The fresh fruit is interesting.  Carrots are a weird shape in an organic sort of way. I know, carrots are not fruit. 

Out of date food here is not a problem, totally acceptable, no-one would dare complain, if you don't want to buy it, you starve.  It really is that simple.  It is not marked down unless it is really old.

I have decided that I may have to become a vegetarian.  I saw very juicy looking cow's tongues for sale in the supermarket in Stanley yesterday. 

Oh yes - the drive to Stanley

The first drive to Stanley was interesting.  I spent the whole hour there thinking we were going to break down and the wind was quite strong and got my heart rate going. There is no AA or RAC here.

When we parked in Stanley in a car park next to the sea I got it into my head that it was highly probable that a freak gust of wind would blow the car into the sea and we would all die.  We didn't.  I am here today back in one piece.

On the way back from Stanley it was dark. How dare the sun go down.

My son began to fall asleep and was leaning against the back door.  I half jokingly told him not to lean against the door in case it fell open.  Just one of my many neurotic fears and worst case scenarios.  My husband cheerfully informed me that yes I was right old Land Rover doors can indeed fly open.  In fact he knew someone who fell out of a Land Rover on the M6 and was really badly injured. 

Never again will I be in the front of the car.  From now on any journeys taken with the children and I will be in the back seat in between them clutching onto them for dear life.

Shopping in Stanley

There are two supermarkets in Stanley.  I visited The West Store on Saturday which is the biggest one.  Pricing is strange. £4 for a top quality joint of silverside beef and then £6 for half a brown lettuce.  A bunch of bananas is £4 and carrots are £3 but then mince is 65p a pack.  Mutton and beef hearts are also on sale.

Reduced items are out of date by about 3 months. They are reduced down to normal UK prices.  There are no buy one get one free offers.

There are Waitrose frozen meals and vegetables and frozen fish that I have never heard of.  Conger Eel and Kingsclip.

Good news is that Chilean Wine is £1.99 a bottle.  It is drinkable. At first I panicked when I thought there was no sherry available to buy but there is, Harvey's Bristol Cream.  A litre of that should see me through Winter months.

I'm off to see the Wizard - nearly

Well it was touch and go yesterday.  The wind was like Kansas in the Wizard of Oz. I thought Dorothy might pop around for a coffee. I love red shoes.

My house was actually shaking most of the day. I did not see the Wicked Witch flying around but I did see that Turkey Vulture above my house.  He is definitely stalking me.

I did an off-road driving course yesterday in the wind.  I was quite good at it. My instructor was ever so patient and polite.  The Vulture was there above me circling.  Maybe he likes blondes.

Turkey vultures

Yesterday a giant black crow like bird with a red head with circling above me.  A Turkey Vulture. There are too many of them for my liking.

There are a lot of things that fly around here.  

Plastic bags can come in very handy

Well it has been an interesting week.  Furniture taken into storage last Friday.  I was completely unorganised when the removal men arrived.  They move so fast packing everything in sight.  I liked the way the young removal man/boy (he must have been about 18) went bright red when I was sorting out my knicker drawer. I know, I should have sorted it out earlier but there were many leaving glasses of wine to drink in my final days in Scotland.

Dust was hoovered under beds, pillows binned because I read somewhere that 10% of pillows are made up of dust mites and dead skin after a certain amount of time. House cleaned and returned in one piece to landlady.  Minus one box of her curtains that were accidentally packed. Luckily an early trip to the storage depot on Monday morning solved that problem much to the amusement of the removal men.

 One car sold, another car gone to sister, one boat to friend to sail, the other boat to friend to store.  It is quite liberating getting rid of things.  The only problem is we did not pack enough stuff 3 weeks ago to be shipped so we turned up at my parent's house with 4 suitcases, two large black holdalls, 3 other bags and 4 pieces of hand lugguage.  I actually have the least amount of stuff. My daughter's case is the heaviest and my husband has two extra bags.  Oh and much to my husband's annoyance - 2 plastic bags.  He has a phobia about plastic bags.  I think he needs to see someone about it. They are not that bad.  They will not harm you unless you put them over your head.

The hire car was the biggest we could get but hardly big enough.  The journey from Scotland yesterday was long. I was crying saying goodbye to my parents and my husband sulked for the first part of the journey because I had delayed him apparently chatting to my Mum's neighbour for an hour and now we were going to hit Birmingham in rush hour.  In my experience it is always rush hour in Birmingham so it is irrelevant what time you leave.  He then made a rule that we were not allowed to eat in the car.  I like eating, I thought everyone eats in the car?

 My son started retching and threatened to be sick in a tesco bag if we didn't stop after an hour into the journey.  We had not even made it to Glasgow.  He got out of the car and threw himself on the pavement saying he was going to collapse with hunger.  (My Mum had made him a massive breakfast two hours earlier before we left).  There were about 6 toilet stops. Two of them within 15 minutes of each other.  The children were "desperate" and no they could not hold on for half an hour.

The big excitement was that my children discovered that for £1 they could get two disposable toothbrushes that come out of a machine in service station toilets.  Really quite clever.  I recommend them.  They are in a tiny plastic ball, inside there is a toothbrush with no handle that you chew.  It has toothpaste on it.  We now have a supply of them.  How we lived without them I do not know.  We will stink of mint.  Important: you do not swallow the toothbrush, you spit it out.

My husband is now standing over me reading as I write.  I am going to get him a plastic bag in a minute.

Am I going to get to The Falklands

I see that the volcanic ash is back.  Could it not have waited until we had left?  We have far too many suitcases and I doubt they are going to fit into the hire car. 

I have managed to persuade my daughter to leave her glittery silver sandals here in Scotland.  I don't think she will need them where we are going.  I think I might leave my hair straighteners.  My husband has more stuff than me.  I might have to wear my wellies on the plane, two coats, three pairs of socks and a hat and pair of gloves.

One week to go

In one week's time we will be on our way to the Falklands.  I am sighing a lot at the moment.  It is horrible being in limbo. The oven has finally packed in and the microwave is on a ship on the Atlantic as I write this. Probably in a storm. We have not had an email from the dog as promised but I suppose no news in good news. I hope she has not been seasick.

The house is falling apart, a window pane crumbled in my hands today.  There are some joys to renting. I have cleared out the kitchen cupboards.  I even had tins that were out of date.

I have visited the rubbish dump every day for the last 5 days.  The man on the gate no longer stops and asks me what I am dumping.  I know my way around.  It stinks.  He must think my life is very sad - constantly cleaning out and dumping.  Maybe he thinks I have one of those compulsive cleaning disorders. The highlight of my day today was buying a pair of rubber gloves and some mildew remover. The excitement in Tescos nearly overwhelmed me.

I have spent the last hour helping my children make party bags for their classmates when they leave school on Friday.  I have bought 44 penguin biscuits, animal balloons and mini Crunchies.  Children are very expensive. They also suggested hair clips and Matchbox cars.  If I hadn't stopped their suggestions, it would have been DS games and Avatar DVDs.

They are singing at the top of their voices in a high pitched strange way and my daughter has her tap shoes on.  Tap tap tap.   I think they are getting excited.  I think I am going to open the wine. Sip sip sip. Gulp gulp gulp. My husband is "working late".  In other words he is drinking coffee in the office and will come home late with a stressed face on once he knows bathtime and bedtime is over.  

They are now singing in my ear.....Both of them.  Loudly.